When was the last time you said no and actually meant it?
Not the mumbled no. Not the “let me think about it” no that everyone knows is a yes with extra steps. I mean the clean, calm, look you in the eye no.
Last night I said no to a bowl of ice cream. Small thing, right? Wrong. That little no was the difference between waking up sharp or waking up in a sugar fog. No inflammation. No extra pounds sitting on my ribs. No brain haze at six in the morning when I need to be firing on all cylinders. Did I miss the ice cream? You bet I did. Am I glad I said no? Heck yeah.
That is the whole book in a spoonful.
How This Book Ended Up In My Hands
Honestly? I do not remember. I get pitched books every week. Emails, DMs, friends texting me screenshots. I just add them to the list and let my Audible library grow like a garden I water when I have time. This one popped up on a walk and it stopped me in my tracks.
William Ury is not some flavor of the month author. He wrote Getting To Yes, the negotiation bible everyone talks about. This one is the sequel nobody mentions and it might be the more important book.
The Big Idea In One Bite
Ury says every no you say is really a yes to something else.
That is it. That is the whole engine. He calls it the Positive No, and it has three parts. Yes. No. Yes.
Yes to what you are protecting. No to the request in front of you. Yes to a path forward that keeps the relationship intact.
Read that again. That is not soft. That is not corporate speak. That is the exact move a founder has to make ten times a day if they want to build anything that lasts.
The Jane Story
Let me tell you about a Window Ninjas customer of ours. We will call her Jane. Jane loves us. Been with us a while. She calls me up and asks if we can drop her window cleaning service by 30 percent this year. Times are tight. She loves the work. Can we do it?
Old me would have squirmed. Danced around it. Given her a 15 percent discount just to make the awkward feeling go away.
New me? Positive No.
I appreciate your loyalty, and I want to find a way to keep taking great care of your property. I am also committed to paying my technicians fairly and delivering the level of service that made you call Window Ninjas in the first place.
Because of that, I cannot cut this invoice by 30 percent. The margin simply is not there, and I am not going to lower the quality of the work or ask my team to clean your glass at my expense.
But here is what I can do.
I can give you 10 percent off this service because you are a loyal customer. And if you pre-book quarterly cleanings, I can build in an additional 20 percent savings.
That gives you the 30 percent savings you are looking for, but we earn it through consistency and frequency instead of pretending one job has 30 percent of extra margin hiding in the bucket.
You save money. My technicians are paid fairly. Your windows stay clean all year. And Window Ninjas can continue delivering the kind of service you expect.
That is a deal that works for everybody.
That is Ury’s framework and I did not even realize I was running it until I read the book.
The Filet Mignon Rule
Here is how I explain it to customers who push on price. There is a 30 percent difference between the price of a sirloin and a filet mignon. Which one do you prefer?
If you want the filet, you pay for the filet. If you want sirloin pricing, you get sirloin service. I cannot give you filet mignon glass for sirloin money. That is not a no. That is a math problem with a smile on it.
Every founder needs a version of this in their back pocket.
Saying No To The Team
I say no to my team all the time and it has nothing to do with being harsh. Everyone wants the same Friday off? Somebody is getting a no. Fuel expenses are running 20 percent over last year and someone wants to buy the crew lunch out of the company card? That is a no too. Not because I do not love feeding my people. Because I love this company more than I love a Friday pizza.
Every no to the team is a yes to the business staying healthy enough to still be here in ten years. Every no to a bad expense is a yes to payroll clearing on Friday for the good ones.
The Deeper Yes
Ury asks you to find the yes underneath your best no. Mine is simple.
I want to build a national powerhouse. A brand that outlives me. A company where operators and franchisees can build wealth and take care of their families.
Every no I say is a yes to that vision. No to the shiny distraction is a yes to the mission. No to the discount that kills margin is a yes to the crew getting paid what they are worth. No to the ice cream is a yes to the version of me that shows up sharp for my team, for Melisa, and for this brand.
Once you know your deeper yes, the no gets a whole lot easier to say.
The Hot Stove
If you are a compassionate human, saying no feels awful. I get it. But think about this.
A toddler reaches for a hot stove. You say no. Are you being mean? Are you being controlling? Or are you loving that kid enough to keep them from a third degree burn?
Every good no is a hot stove no. You are protecting somebody. Sometimes the customer. Sometimes the team. Sometimes yourself.
Stop treating no like a bad word. Start treating it like a seatbelt.
Who Needs This Book
If saying no makes your stomach hurt, this book is for you. If you are the compassionate operator who says yes to everything and wakes up burned out, exhausted, and over budget, this book is a lifeline. If you are the founder who has been swallowing your no for the sake of keeping the peace and watching your margins get eaten alive, run to the nearest Audible app and hit play.
The Positive No is not just a negotiation move. It is a leadership operating system.
Golden Squeegee Rating: 4.6 out of 5
Docking a bit because the middle drags in a few spots and Ury leans academic when the material is begging for more real world stories. But the framework alone is worth the price of admission. This one is going into my regular rotation with my leadership team.
Say yes to what matters. Say no to what does not. Then say yes to a path forward that keeps everyone whole.
That is founder work. That is life work.
Keep Shining.
Follow my journey at gabesalinas.com, subscribe on Substack, and connect with me on social media.
